Laying here

do you hear me? i tell you to go and you stand there longer
the sounds of my heart, the strafing of my days
looking for my reason, looking for hope, for home
most despise this time, this changing of skies
when the days grow cold, shorter and harsher
but I relish them, looking forward to the darkness

for some, those unlucky few waiting all winter
sunshine is the awakening, blooming of hope and frolic
longer days mean bigger dreams, their faith in later on
forever after and winters melting to spring
but those promises I no longer rely on
dancing reflections I know longer believe

its the dwindling of days, those wilting hours that flit by quickly
pushing me from sleep to sleep, pulling me through
for dreams are within the grasp of those with faith, with hope
looking to hold back the twilight, to steal another hour
but my hope has been battered, my faith shaken and dreams stolen by another
I dont find solice in the sun, nor the slowed ticking of the clock
my heart longs for sleep, escape from the days

so as my hands grow cold and winter bites my senses
it brings to me a greater peace, the safety between dusk and dawn,
a place I can call home under the warmth of a blanket,
behind my shuttered eyes and sheltered heart

Energy abounds

The fire dances, goes round my head
Waiting with a thunderous heart I stir for the moment
Recognizing the the sound, the snap in the air
Like a brush against the barbs I feel the sting of excitement
Those fingertips of anticipation running down my spine
Sharpened sense of desire racing through my veins
Adrenaline coursing within my limbs, the bitter charge upon my lips

An answer to a Question

I was asked and I feel it only fair to answer.
Yes, some of these are older works I started some 17+ years ago being brought back to life.
Others are new, written within the last 6-18 months.
Some are fresh off the turnip cart and still in need of seasoning.
They are all works in progress and by no means 'finished' pieces.

I don't know a writer out there that doesn't have at least one piece if not many that he continually revisists, rewrites and molds for years if not for the rest of their life.

Usque Ad Finem.

Enjoy.

Wanderings

The tallest tree lies here quietly now
Looming before my eyes, it came as quite a shock
Finding myself despite the time of day
In darkening woods without this childhood friend
My guide, my beacon home all those times.
Years ago, before decisions and debacles of maturity
I found myself lost right here, right then
Amongst these clustered towers of rustling shadows
And like a dog chasing his tail I wound myselfIn circles of confusion
Throughout the blanket of gold and bronze.

Stopping with exhaustion, I wept, letting my fear drip down
Frustration sliding down my cold blushed cheeks
And with a thud I dropped, no longer knowing the way
Confused where to look or go and losing hope and daylight
Pressing my face to my hands, resigned to my fate.

I sat waiting for a voice that wasn't calling
Nothing uttered by the silence around me
Except for the frictionless hush of the bare arms above me
I rose to observe the empty fullness reaching toward me
Its arms opened and beckoned me to climb
Suddenly unafraid, crawling with an unlimbering trust
Cradled in its side, finding a spot that seemed fitted for me
And in clearing the tears from my eyes
I could see beyond the twisted thickness below
Past my fears I found the clearest path home
And knew from that day forward I would never be lost again.

But now, lying here it has no use, its offerings long gone
For the child whose future once was yet to be told
The last leaves dropped long ago and its guidance with them
Its armor cracked and humbled to below my gaze
And though I know not when or where, I see myself lying here
In joining my old friend some many years from now
My existence will be torn free from this world
Like loose threads dangling from an overused Argyll jacket
Hoping the next passerby stops and ponders my fate
And remembers me for my guidance to them along the way.

Withered and worn but still laying it down

Looking up from the rocking thunder, having weathered it all
I strain against the ringing still rippling throughout my core
Surveying the damage around me, finding little to impress
Less the scars of remembrance that are better felt than seen
Still standing confidently defiant, a sentry by my side
Chiseled hand of experience upon my shoulder
Preventing me from losing myself to the erosion of anger
Pulling me back from the self absorbed abyss easily drifted into
A well endured strength that stands behind my resolve
Whispering courage into every action, driving my next steps
Purifying my motive, forging my heart's ability to storm forward
Toughening resolve overtime and leaving the metal stronger than before.

In Transit...lots of stops before they are done

Why is it over?
Lost in limbo again left with nothing to grab
Do I feel too much, too little to your liking
Does my heart not bleed red enough for you?
Words I spilled, tender movements I made
What would it take, with my soul in your hands
To know it was safe to close my eyes
Know you'll be here when I wake
And find the pain coming to an end

Telling myself I took the steps to make it
Pushing past the comfortable faded veils
I feel around, blindness I don't understand
I'm straining to see what truly lies beneath
Find the marks I thought we made together
Where is your hand in this writing?
The etchings are all mine, the sweat from my brow
Hints and warning signs were all there
Why did I not notice I was bleeding all alone?